p2pnet - rss feed: World’s 1st storyline patent?
p2p news / p2pnet: eMediaWire is reporting that “the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office is scheduled to publish history’s first “storyline patent” application today.
The release has Georgetown University law prof Jay Thomas saying, “The case law of the Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit has established that virtually any subject matter is potentially patentable.”
The idea that story lines could be patentable was first seriously proposed by Andrew Knight in an article for the Journal of the Patent and Trademark Office Society. In A Potentially New IP: Storyline Patents, Knight argues that “binding case law strongly suggests that methods of performing and displaying fictional plots, whether found in motion pictures, novels, television shows, or commercials, are statutory subject matter, like computer software and business methods”.
And what of the individual who filed the patent application back in November 2003?
Funnily enough, it’s Frank Knight.
Kight’s web site, plotpatents.com, informs visitors that “Knight and Associates consists of Andrew Knight and a team of independent contractors comprising skilled writers and experienced patent attorneys, ready to turn valuable new fictional plots or storylines into U.S. utility patent applications.”
They’ll be able to “help your company integrate valuable Storyline Patent protection into your portfolio of other IP protection” and “draft and prosecute patent applications on unique storylines, as well as innovations in the fields of mechanical devices, electrical devices, optical devices, medical devices, engines, software, business methods, gadgets, tools, toys, and other consumer products.”
This is perhaps the most reprehensable attempt by an individual to create a job for themselves. Simply create “property” where none existed before, then charge big media companies to look after the chaotic legal issues you’ve created for them. What does he have to say for himself?
“Recognizing that fierce competition for publication and financial reward focused on the quality of storytelling, as opposed to the quality of the underlying storyline itself, and further recognizing that even the world’s most skilled storytellers (of which he is clearly not) rarely turn a profit, his unique fictional storylines have matured into pending patent applications instead of novels or screenplays. He thus seeks reward on the true value of his innovations - the underlying storylines - instead of forced, sub-par expressions of these underlying storylines.”
So according to Knight, we should now be paying bad writers to use an idea that they’ve detailed in a utility patent.
The worst part of this is that several academics have theorised that there are only actually seven basic plots that exist in literature. Amazon.com says of Christopher Booker’s The Seven Basic Plots, “there is literally no story in the world which cannot be seen in a new light: we have come to the heart of what stories are about and why we tell them.”
Unfortunately, if Andrew Knight’s patent application is granted, it won’t be a question of what stories are about, or why we tell them. It’ll be a question of whether we can afford to pay the royalties.
You can contact Andrew Knight at info@plotpatents.com if you have any questions for him.
Alex H, p2pnet development manager - Sydney, Australia
[Alex is an operations manager for an ATM (automatic teller machine) supplier and he specialises in infrastructure development and maintenance, and logistics. He’s also an[other] active member of the Shareaza community.]
==============
Something you think we should know? tips[at]p2pnet.net
November 7th, 2005 at 1:52 pm
What’s next? Patenting the human DNA? Patenting air? Water? Electricity?
November 7th, 2005 at 5:11 pm
I’m putting a patent for questions and you have just violated it!!
November 7th, 2005 at 6:09 pm
i want to patent every storyline from every disney film. how do i do that?
someone should find an old, rarely used law that will allow someone to patent everything written by shakespeare.
then hollywood would be forced to think of absolutely new ideas and not steal from the masters (although it’s still debated whether or not the bard actually wrote anything, that’s not the point. get hollywood and writers thinking on their own).
November 7th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Patenting genomes is already big business. Big biz already effectively OWNS electricity and water (at least the water that is piped into your residence). They have not figured out air and sunshine yet. Give them time…
As to patenting storylines?
Asinine.
November 8th, 2005 at 2:28 am
I have filed for a patent, ten minutes ago, for the use of ellipses ( … ), exclamation marks (!), question marks (?), their obverse components (¡) and (¿) and my all time favorite, the umlaut (Ö, Ë, Ä, etc.) In addition to those marks, my patent-pending includes all punctuation marks, the Roman alphabet, the Greek alphabet, and the Cyrillic alphabet. I’m not touching those oriental pictographs with a ten foot pole. So break out those check books, kiddies, or beef up your PayPal accounts.
But I’m not a greedy man — go ahead and use the letters of the alphabet all you want. But watch out for those spelling and punctuation marks. I made more than fifty bucks on the above posts alone! And I’m working with my Legislative delegation in Congress to provide penalties for those who attempt to circumvent my patent by simply not using punctuation marks, etc. Anyone who leaves the accent off of José (San Jose, CA, for example) will be subject to double penalties in construction zones.
Someone stop the world and let me off. Greed and venality have reached leviathan proportions. In a nation of 300 million people, where the largest majority profess to be Christians, I don’t know one person who would honestly give the shirt off his back to someone who might have a greater need for it. Nor have I encountered anyone who would turn his other cheek to his enemy. Especially, I never see anyone forgiving a sinner. Crime victims or their families are never content unless the perpetrator is sentenced to the absolute maximum penalty allowed by law (and they usually cry out for twice that penality!) And who can show me a creditor that has forgiven his debtors.
But don’t misunderstand me. I love my country. It’s comforting to know that a person can still depend on getting as much justice as he can afford and that anyone, no matter what nature of mental illness or deficiency he might suffer from, can still grow up to be president!
November 8th, 2005 at 4:58 am
7 basic plots huh? Well that explains hollywood. Doesn’t seem like they’re using all of them tho.
November 8th, 2005 at 2:35 pm
Hollywood has one basic plot:
“A greedy capitalist wraps a poorly written and often ripped off plot in marketing. People flock to give him cash”.
Remember - just because he’s applied for a patent, it doesn’t mean he’ll get it. First it has to be decided if the subject matter is patentable, and then if the “invention” is novel and inventive”. Though I haven’t seen the actual application, it would be unlikely that it gets granted.
November 8th, 2005 at 3:54 pm
I’m copyrighting “Once Upon a Time” and will be submitting a patent application for any storyline that occured “Once Upon a Time.” These assets will be managed by the Once Upon a Time Corporation under the trademarked Once Upon a Time brand of storyline. The Once Upon a Time corporation’s business plan calls for opening subsidiaries such as the “A Long, Long Time Ago, Far, Far Away” division, “It was a Dark and Stormy Night” division, and a boutique operation “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” to handle any story lines about unhappy French people with poor personal hygeine (through no fault of their own.)
Franchises such as “In the beginning” and “Thou shalt not” will handle storylines of a religious nature diversifying to franchises such as “Nobody’s Perfect” for gay themed story lines. Financing for the new enterprise has been arranged privately with “Greed is Good” Venture Capital and Wankerman Partners. Legal Representation is being provided by Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, Harvard Square, Cambridge Massachusetts.
–TurboGeek
November 8th, 2005 at 3:57 pm
If there are indeed only seven actual basic plots of storyline that occur within the human existance, I would think the ‘prior art’ provision of the patent laws would cause this insipidly ridiculous idea to implode.
–TurboGeek